Written By: The Man Posted On: Friday, 30 July 2010 01:19
I think it's time for me to have a serious discussion with the people at Victoria's Secret and Sports Illustrated about creating a line of supermodel stuffed animals. Not only would an Alessandra Ambrosio or Bar Refaeli stuffed animal be the perfect accent to any man's bedroom decor, but they'd also make a perfect travel pillow. And who wouldn't want to wake up the next morning knowing that they spent the last eight hours drooling on a stuffed Miranda Kerr.


 
 
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Written By: The Man Posted On: Friday, 30 July 2010 00:59
A lot of people don't know that the creature with the highest output of farts on this planet is actually the lowly termite. Apparently their digestive process and diet makes them fart all the time which means there are tons of farting termites surrounding you and your loved ones at any given moment. Now I'm not a doctor, but I believe this also means that the best way to improve your farting skills is to buy a bunch of firewood and eat it.


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Written By: The Man Posted On: Thursday, 29 July 2010 22:00
About five minutes ago I decided that I'm going to eat nothing but chicken wings for the entire weekend. I'm going to start with a large bag of Tyson frozen spicy wings because they're the tastiest frozen wings you can buy. After that I'll take a trip down Pizza Hut's Wing Street followed by a romantic chicken wings dinner at Hooters. The best part about the whole experience is that I finally get to wear an adult diaper and bib.


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Written By: The Man Posted On: Thursday, 29 July 2010 19:45
Sometimes going to the bathroom is hard work and I think it'd be nice to be rewarded for some of your best performances. This is why I think someone needs to invent a toilet  with a meter that rates your dumps on a scale of 1-10. And the best part is about the "Flush-O-meter 3000" is that when your dump scores a 5-7, the toilet dispenses a delicious cup of French roast coffee and if you manage an 8-10, the toilet rewards you with some Arby's Beef 'n Cheddar coupons.


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Written By: The Man Posted On: Thursday, 29 July 2010 11:36
There are a plethora of feminine hygiene products on the market today, so why aren't there any male hygiene products? The male private area can get just as unsanitary as the female private area, which is why I believe it's unfair that we aren't offered the same cleansing options as women. This is precisely why I think it's the perfect time to release the world's first gooch cleanser called "Gouche." Each box of Gouche comes with an inflatable recliner chair that has a hole in the middle All you have to do is pour steaming water into the Gouche recliner chair hole, add Gouche ingredients (which is basically spicy BBQ sauce and Cool Whip) and sit in it while you watch football.


 
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Written By: The Man Posted On: Wednesday, 28 July 2010 18:49
I believe every trip to Taco Bell should include a Mexican Pizza, two Beef Chalupas, a Nachos Supreme and a Beef Meximelt. Now the reason I believe the Beef Meximelt should always be included in any Taco Bell order is because it has the unique distinction of tasting almost identical to a certain part of the female anatomy. And no, I'm not referring to their feet.

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