The best weekends usually start when you have no idea what you're going to do on Friday night, especially when you tell people that you're going to "relax" on Friday night and "take it easy this weekend." These are usually the weekends that you end up hooking up with a girl who has the same name as your sister, but fortunately you couldn't remember her name when you hooked up with her and you found out after the fact. And don't you just love those farts that sound like a rat being eaten by a fatter rat who has a severe gas problem?

 




Fat Fat Revolution
The 10 Greastest Moments In Fat Guy Dancing History

Watching thin people dance is boring as hell. There's nothing cool about it because they don't have any excess body fat to giggle around or a major booty to shake and that's what real dancing is all about. I mean, I can honestly sit here and say that I've never watched an episode of Dancing With The Stars in my life, but if there was a Fat Dancing With The Stars I'd be all over it.
 


#10 Fat Guy Dances To "My Hump" - And it's amazing how much he looks exactly like Fergie at certain points throughout this video.
 
 
 
 
Thursday is the work day of every week that sucks the most because where we're all holding on by a very thin thread and people still expect us to do stuff. Friday doesn't count because nobody really does anything on Friday, they just pretend to work, take two and a half hour lunches and use the bathroom four times. This is why I always recommend starting a friendly "that's what she said" competition at work every Thursday or simply responding to people with interrupting cow noises. I also recommend bringing pieces of old lunch meat so you can throw them at the co-workers you can't stand.



 
 





Today's links that will make your butt explode include how to fart in public, the 7 signs that you're whipped and Jessica Simpson was all kinds of hot on Letterman last night.



How To Fart In Public: A Powerpoint Presentation (Holy Taco)

11 Webcams That Your Didn't Know Existed (I Am Bored)

Megan Fox's Booty Will Blow Your Mind (Popoholic)

Top 10 Songs About Being Horny (Heavy)


The 10 Funniest Dave Chappelle Stand-Up Bits
(Comedy.com)

13 Absolutely Epic Beer Bellies (Super Tremendous)

Jessica Simpson Was Cleavagey On Letterman Last Night
(Extra Mustard)

I Can't Stop Staring At Caitlynn In A Bikini (Gorillamask)

 



The 25 Funniest Moments In Mascot History
(College Humor)

The 11 Girls You'll Meet On Spring Break This Year (Bro Bible)

The 15 Best Photos Of Christina Hendricks Massive Mammaries (Attuworld)

South Park's First Ever Deleted Scene (COED Magazine)

The 8 Greatest Space Racks In Movie History (Regretful Morning)


Holy Huge Hooters, Batman! 
(Double Viking)

The 10 Greatest Movie Stoners
(Unreality Magazine)

The Weridest Band Names Of All Time (Hollywood Fail)

Maxin Covergirl Alicia Eve Is Out Of Your League
(Maxim)

8 Hilarious Missing Dog Signs
(Next Round)




20 Random Photos Of Random Hot Chicks (Linkiest)

Vulva Is The New WTF Fragrance For Women (FHM)

20 Phrases That Can Make A Man Sound Smarter (Made Man)

Emma Watson Shows Off Her Thighs (Celeb Jihad)

5 Creepy Ways That Video Games Are Addictive (Cracked)

11 Signs You Had Too Much To Drink Last Night (Smosh)


Boobies And Kittens! (Whip It Out Comedy)


Peter Sarsgaard Caught Staring At Maggie Gyllenhaal's Boobies
(Moe Jackson)

Kimber Leigha Has A Nice Rack Of Lamb
(Busted Coverage)

7 Signs That You're Totally Whipped (Guyism)
 
Every male encounter with hooters goes something like this... first, the eyes identify them and then they send a message through the optic nerve telling the brain that there are boobs in the area. At this point the man brain evaluates the overall risk involved in looking at them immediately or waiting a few seconds before sneaking an unsuspecting peek. Keep in mind that the entire time this process is going on, the subconscious is attempting to manipulate the conscious while the conscious is repeatedly saying "look at the face, look at the face... look at the face!"



 

MORE MANLY STUFF...

25 Inappropriate Children's Books
(Holy Taco)

Mr. Freeze Does Something To A Woman's Chest (Cracked)

13 Epic Beer Guts (Super Tremendous)

D Cup Implants Save A Hot Woman's Life! (DJ Mick)

20 Random Really Hot Chicks (The Chive)

24 Sexy Snow Bunnies! (Unreality Magazine)


Jennifer Ellison Is The Bustiest British Babe In The World (Gorillamask)
 



It takes a certain type of man to be a wrestler and that man has to be extremely comfortable with the inappropriate touching of another man. They also have to be willing to wear tights, starve themselves and be generally pissed off all the time.  And then there's those cauliflower ear wrestlers. You should avoid those freaky bastards by any means necessary.


 
I don't know about you, but I love to pretend that I'm using the force whenever I encounter an automatic door. I wave my hand, the door magically opens and then I usually make some Chewbacca noises to top it off. Well, if you're looking to use the force tonight, I recommend starting your Jedi training this evening with some "Jedi Mind Trick" cocktails. They're guaranteed to make you talk backwards like Yoda and it'll make your game as smooth as Lando Calrissian.


 
A recent survey conducted said that women think about sex up to 34 times in an average working day.That works out at the equivalent of once every 14 minutes. Over 50% of the women surveyed were dissatisfied with their sex life, prompting them to think about sex during their working day while seven in 10 women finding up to an hour a day for their "naughty" fantasies. This means we are all surrounded by a ton of horny women every day at work and we now know why the spend such so much time in the women's bathroom.
 


 
 
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