Another toilet invention I've been thinking about lately is a toilet meter that rates your dumps on a scale of 1-10. Sometimes going to the bathroom is hard work and I think it'd be nice to be rewarded for some of your best performances. The best part is about it is that if your dump scores a 5-7 the toilet dispenses a delicious cup of French roast coffee and if you manage an 8-10 the toilet rewards you with several Arby's coupons.



 
 
 


Today's links that will make your butt explode include the 25 March Madness babes, 15 movies with appropriate video game names and 5 movie romances that won't last.


25 March Madness Babes (Holy Taco)

Here's Your WTF Picture Of The Day (I Am Bored)

Jessica Biel Drops Some Red Carpet Cleavage
(Popoholic)

2 Jessica Alba's For The Price Of 1! (Screen Junkies)


12 Sports-Celebrity Look-Alikes (Comedy.com)

5 Movie Romances That Won't Last (Cracked)


Soccer WAG Melissa Satta In Bodypaint For SI
(Extra Mustard)

Apparently Avatar Sex Is Really Complicated (Gorillamask)

 



The 50 Laziest People In The World
(College Humor)

The Ultimate Hammer Toss Fail
(Total Pro Sports)

11 March Madness Coaches Who Look Like 80's Movie & TV Characters (Bro Bible)

Jennifer Aniston Still Has a Smoking Hot Body (The Netwerk)

13 WTF Foreigns Signs (Super Tremendous)

How They Advertise Push Up Bras In Taiwan (Attuworld)


The Hottest Brunette Babe You'll See All Day
(Double Viking)

15 Movies With Appropriate Video Game Names
(Unreality Magazine)

American Idol Judge Kara Dioguardi Poses For Maxim!
(Maxim)

Top 10 Threatening Band Names (Hollywood Fail)

Celebrities Being "De-Wolfmanized" 
(City Rag)




20 Hot Boxing Babes (Linkiest)

Emma Watson Is Hot And Rich (FHM)

Models Who Are Stunning And Hot (Ask Men)

Olivia Wilde Rocks Italian GQ Magazine (Celeb Jihad)

The Worst Faces To Make When Hooking Up (Smosh)

Al Bundy Shakes His Booty (Whip It Out Comedy)

Nina Dobrev Is The Ultimate Girl Next Door
(Moe Jackson)

Clara Alonso Is Awfully Purdy
(Busted Coverage)

10 Fake Simpsons Words That Belong In The Dictionary (Guyism)
 
The bond between a man and his laptop is a bond women will never truly understand. Not only are laptops one of our best friends, but they also know our deepest and darkest secrets which are usually hidden in random folder titled "yummy." This is why you never want to touch another man's laptop. Not because it might start a fight, but because it's a major health risk.



 
 


Today's links that will make your butt explode include Brad Pitt's epic new man cave, 28 smoking hot Facebook girls 7 things magazines teach women about men.



25 Funny Tombstones (Holy Taco)

Only Hot Girls Are Named Peaches (Gorillamask)

Michelle Trachtenberg Gets Naughty For Complex Magazine (Popoholic)

Darth Vader Loves Strippers (Cracked)


10 Amazing St. Patty's Day Party Girls
(Comedy.com)

Julie Bowen Is Your Lovely Lady Of The Day
(Extra Mustard)

The Greatest Award Acceptance Speech Ever (I Am Bored)


 

The 15 Worst Tramp Stamps Of All Time
(College Humor)

Brad Pitt's New Man Cave Is Awesome
(Bro Bible)

Anita Is Cute As Hell... In Lingerie (Total Pro Sports)

The Funniest Biker Dude Ever Photographed (Smosh)

An Awesome Collection Of Sumo Wrestler Photoshops (Attuworld)


Holy Keeley Hazell Cleavage, Batman!
(Double Viking)

The Funniest Fat Person T-Shirt Ever
(Unreality Magazine)

18 Hot Girls Sitting On Cars
(Maxim)

Mario Lopez Has No Soul! (Hollywood Fail)

Confessions Of A Crack Ho!
(City Rag)




10 Animals You Shouldn't Have As Pets (Linkiest)

A Tiger Woods Sex Tape? (FHM)

Mom Kills Sons Facebook Sex Appeal (Geek Comedy)

Jennifer Aniston Starts Stalking Brad Pitt Again (Celeb Jihad)

Monopoly: The Beer Lovers Edition (Sublime Directory)

Lucy Pinder Is The Queen Of Cleavage (Ask Men)


Nina Dorbev Is The New "It" Girl
(Moe Jackson)

7 Things Magazines Teach Women About Men
(Guyism)

Greg Oden Takes Bad Pictures (Busted Coverage)
 
So I just learned that the New York Times is reporting that almost half of our nation's sewage systems are currently dumping "human excrement and dangerous industrial chemicals" into our rivers and lakes which is where most of our drinking water comes from. This means that a good portion of the water we drink, including bottled water, contains some form of human poo. Now I don't know about you, but I'm going to drink nothing but blue energy drinks for the next month or so because I believe they're the only liquid substances more lethal than poo water.


 
 

Revenge is something that's easy to achieve if you follow three simple rules. The first thing you need to do is take incriminating photos of anyone you become friends inside of the first two years of friendship while they're passed out or sleeping. The second thing you have to do is videotape at least one naughty time session with anyone you date before you break up with them and randomly upload it to one of those dirty naughty internet websites. The third thing you have to do is keep a jar of vaseline on you at all times because it's the easiest way to get quick revenge on someone who has done something bad to you. All you have to do is apply that vaseline to the windshield of their car during daylight hours because that stuff is impossible to get off.

 
I think we should all take a moment this St. Patrick's Day to honor the only Irish person that matters on this planet besides Jason Preistley, Conan O'Brien. Since we're all currently suffering through the Leno, Fallon and Letterman late night lack of laughter, I thought it was only fitting to reflect on a time when Coco had a show show. And if you're desperate for green beer tonight, don't resort to adding green food coloring to regular beer. It tastes horrible and you end up pooping a bunch of tiny green children the next day.



 
 



Today's links that will make your butt explode include 32 rare-unseen celebrity photos, the greatest women's wrestling move ever and 9 bizarre green foods to try this St. Patrick's Day.

 


I Don't Know Who This Pink Bikini Babe Is But Hot Diggity Damn! (Holy Taco)

The Mass Effect 2 Cosplay Girl Is Awfully Purdy (I Am Bored)

Amanda Seyfried Is Retardedly Hot (Popoholic)


32 Rare, Unseen Celebrity Photos
(The Chive)

Japanese Cheerleaders Are Hot (Heavy)

9 Ridiculous St. Patty's Day Boozers (Whip It Out Comedy)

Emanuela Paul Is Your Lovely Lady Of The Day
(Extra Mustard)

Kelly Brook Is Real And Spectacular (Gorillamask)

 



Keyboard Cat Is Back! (College Humor)

46 Gorgeous Models On 1 Wonderful Page
(Bro Bible)

8 Video Game Fights We Need To See (The Netwerk)

20 Hot Boxing Babes (Total Pro Sports)

The 7 Funniest Movie Edits For TV (Becks.com)


Two Hot Girls Helping Each Other
(Double Viking)

15 Celebrities Standing Next To Their Wax Sculpture (Unreality Magazine)

We Need An Angry Police Chiefs Montage
(Maxim)

15 Celebrity Kisses That Made Us Cringe (Comedy.com)

Miley Cryus Is Ripped! 
(City Rag)





The Greatest Women's Wrestling Move Ever (Linkiest)

Ben Stiller Goes Between Two Ferns With Zack Galafianakis (FHM)

The 10 Most Evil Corporations In The World (Ask Men)

Kim Kardashian Is A Busty Lady (Made Man)

The 8 Most Evil Leprechauns (Hollywood Fail)

Sexy Women's Magazines In The Disney Universe (Cracked)


Miranda Kerr Looking Hot As Usual
(Moe Jackson)

9 Bizarre Green Foods To Try This St. Patrick's Day
(Guyism)

The Greatest St. Patty's Day Fight On The Internet (Busted Coverage)
 
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