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Thanks to Twitter and Hot Pockets, we're only about two years away from people communicating purely in grunting noises. I think it's long overdue and the human race should've stopped using words decades ago. All words do is complicate things and force us to hide our primal urges. And just imagine how great it would be to live in a world where you can go to Denny's and order pancakes by pointing at them on the menu and make caveman noises while you pour maple syrup on your crotch. That's the kind of world I want to live in.
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![]() Today's links that will make your butt explode include the origin of that's what she said explained, the meanest marriage proposal ever and He-Man talks about a fight with Skeletor. Emily Blunt Shows Off Her Chest Thingamerbobbers (Holy Taco) The Best Newspaper Headline You'll Read All Day (I Am Bored) Olivia Munn's Cleavagey Maxim Outtakes (Popoholic) The 9 Greatest Celebrity Death Rumors (Screen Junkies) The 10 Worst Parents On TV (Comedy.com) The 10 Funniest Moments In Muppet Show History (Super Tremendous) Brooklyn Decker Wins The 2010 SI Swimsuit Issue Bracket (Extra Mustard) The Amazing Aliens Movie Rap (Gorillamask) Hot Chicks With Long Faces Showdown (Moe Jackson) Meet British Babe Sasha Jackson (Busted Coverage) 9 Comedy Movie Quotes That Need To Be Retired (Guyism)
The best weekends usually start when you have no idea what you're going to do on Friday night, especially when you tell people that you're going to "relax" on Friday night and "take it easy this weekend." These are usually the weekends that you end up hooking up with a girl who has the same name as your sister, but fortunately you couldn't remember her name when you hooked up with her and you found out after the fact. And don't you just love those farts that sound like a rat being eaten by a fatter rat who has a severe gas problem?
MORE MANLY STUFF... 25 Hot Gamer Chicks (Holy Taco) Mr. Freeze Does Something To A Woman's Chest (Cracked) 13 Humongous Beer Bellies (Super Tremendous) Katharine McPhee Has Epic Hooters (DJ Mick) 30 Hot Girls With And Without Makeup (The Chive) It's The Incredible Hulk Dog! (Unreality Magazine) Tracy Is The Hottest Girl You'll See All Day (Gorillamask) Fat Fat Revolution The 10 Greastest Moments In Fat Guy Dancing History Watching thin people dance is boring as hell. There's nothing cool about it because they don't have any excess body fat to giggle around or a major booty to shake and that's what real dancing is all about. I mean, I can honestly sit here and say that I've never watched an episode of Dancing With The Stars in my life, but if there was a Fat Dancing With The Stars I'd be all over it. #10 Fat Guy Dances To "My Hump" - And it's amazing how much he looks exactly like Fergie at certain points throughout this video.
Thursday is the work day of every week that sucks the most because where we're all holding on by a very thin thread and people still expect us to do stuff. Friday doesn't count because nobody really does anything on Friday, they just pretend to work, take two and a half hour lunches and use the bathroom four times. This is why I always recommend starting a friendly "that's what she said" competition at work every Thursday or simply responding to people with interrupting cow noises. I also recommend bringing pieces of old lunch meat so you can throw them at the co-workers you can't stand.
![]() Today's links that will make your butt explode include how to fart in public, the 7 signs that you're whipped and Jessica Simpson was all kinds of hot on Letterman last night. How To Fart In Public: A Powerpoint Presentation (Holy Taco) 11 Webcams That Your Didn't Know Existed (I Am Bored) Megan Fox's Booty Will Blow Your Mind (Popoholic) Top 10 Songs About Being Horny (Heavy) The 10 Funniest Dave Chappelle Stand-Up Bits (Comedy.com) 13 Absolutely Epic Beer Bellies (Super Tremendous) Jessica Simpson Was Cleavagey On Letterman Last Night (Extra Mustard) I Can't Stop Staring At Caitlynn In A Bikini (Gorillamask) Peter Sarsgaard Caught Staring At Maggie Gyllenhaal's Boobies (Moe Jackson) Kimber Leigha Has A Nice Rack Of Lamb (Busted Coverage) 7 Signs That You're Totally Whipped (Guyism)
Every male encounter with hooters goes something like this... first, the eyes identify them and then they send a message through the optic nerve telling the brain that there are boobs in the area. At this point the man brain evaluates the overall risk involved in looking at them immediately or waiting a few seconds before sneaking an unsuspecting peek. Keep in mind that the entire time this process is going on, the subconscious is attempting to manipulate the conscious while the conscious is repeatedly saying "look at the face, look at the face... look at the face!"
MORE MANLY STUFF... 25 Inappropriate Children's Books (Holy Taco) Mr. Freeze Does Something To A Woman's Chest (Cracked) 13 Epic Beer Guts (Super Tremendous) D Cup Implants Save A Hot Woman's Life! (DJ Mick) 20 Random Really Hot Chicks (The Chive) 24 Sexy Snow Bunnies! (Unreality Magazine) Jennifer Ellison Is The Bustiest British Babe In The World (Gorillamask) It takes a certain type of man to be a wrestler and that man has to be extremely comfortable with the inappropriate touching of another man. They also have to be willing to wear tights, starve themselves and be generally pissed off all the time. And then there's those cauliflower ear wrestlers. You should avoid those freaky bastards by any means necessary. |
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