I think it's time I let you and the federal government know that I have just created the greatest condiment the world has ever seen. I call it "Super Sauce" and I created it by combining ranch dressing, thousand islands dressing, ketchup, babecue sauce, chipotle sauce, chile con queso dip, spicy mustard, Crisco, sour cream, hot sauce, guacamole and prime rib fat into the most powerful dipping sauce known to man. Now one might argue that a condiment this lethal will probably cause severe cases of dysentery and butt dementia but I figure those diseases are pretty tolerable when you're always eating foods drenched in delicious Super Sauce.