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The 10 Douchiest Michael Bay Movie Scenes Of All Time

The man has been butchering blockbuster movies for over ten years and he's back for more today with the release of his latest over-produced douche masterpiece Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen. So strap yourselves in kids and prepare yourself another onslaught of slow-motion action sequences with the exact same Michael Bay music, gut-wrenching dialogue/acting and a bunch of close-up camera angle special effects so that you can't even see what's going on. And who knows, there might even be an additional three minutes of Transformers action footage in the movie that we haven't already seen in the trailer.


#10 The "Shia Lebouf Uses Michael Bay Humor To Flirt With Megan Fox As She Struggles To Speak A Complete Sentence" Scene (Transformers) - When Michael Bay attempts humor in his movies, you either get a joke that would've been funny in 1965 or some sort of stereotypical racism. Either way, it's a douche-douche situation.


#9 The "Dramatic Slow Motion Footage Of Small Town People Around The World Watching And Listening As The Asteroid Destroying Astronauts Board The Space Shuttle While The President Gives A Dramatic Speech That Isn't Dramatic At All" Scene (Armageddon)  - These are the classic montage moments in every Michael Bay movie where he usually shows about 10-20 "ethnic" people from around the world so that he can seem like a man of the people.

 

#8  The Bad Boys 2 "Camera Going In A Circle Until You Have Permanent Vertigo" Action Scene (Bad Boys 2)  - Rumor has it that Michael Bay filmed this scene while riding a carousel horse and eating an ice cream cone as his assistant combed his chest hair.

 

#7 The "The Ben Affleck & Kate Beckinsale Love Scenes Where The Dialogue Is So Bad That Several People Stabbed The Person Sitting Next To Them In The Theater With A Pocket Knife" Scenes (Pearl Harbor)  - Because nothing says love like making your girlfriend some origami airplanes before you head off to war.
#6 The "For Some Strange Reason Michael Bay Is Obsessed With Helicopter Sunset Scenes" Montage (Every Single One Of Michael Bay's Crappy Movies) - Some people have foot fetishes and some people love to be intimate with stuffed animals. Michael Bay gets off and helicopter sunsets.


   

#5 The "Please Tell Me That Bumblebee Didn't Actually Just Pee On John Turturro" Scene (Transformers) - It's amazing how Michael Bay managed to make all of the Autobots almost as annoying as Jar Jar Binks. This is also the moment in Transformers where I officially became extremely pissed off the Michael Bay got his greasy hands on the Transformers franchise.