Keep Out Of Reach Of Children
The 10 Weirdest Children's Toy Commercials Of All Time
It's tragic that people stop buying and playing with toys after a certain age and it's extremely tragic that we stop having recess after elementary school. In my opinion, the American work force would be far more productive every day if we were allowed to play with toys at our desks and have a half-hour recess every day at 3:00 pm. I also think it should be socially acceptable to call somebody a "poo poo face" when they do something bad when you're an adult, but we'll dive more into that tomorrow.
#10 The Topper Toy Sixfinger - I think I can honestly say that having a 6th finger was never at the top of my wish list as a kid.
#9 Ball Buster - No kid should ever have to play a game with his parents that involves talking about balls and that's all there is to say about that.
#8 Gaylord The Puppy - And suddenly playing with a box of dirt with a kid you don't like doesn't seem quite so bad.
#7 Kota The Triceritops - Every kid a dinosaur toy but not one that looks and acts like it might kill you in your sleep.
#6 The Jesus Chris Action Figure - Sure he can walk on water, but no kid wants to play with an action figure that has a political agenda.
#5 Milky The Marvelous Milking Cow - Milky The Cow would make Count Chocula and Frankeberry piss in their pants.
#4 Love n' Licks Puppy - I've seen grown women say things more perverse in a 1-900 commercial.
#3 Baby Laugh-A-Lot - Perhaps "Baby Suck The Soul From Your Body" would've been a more accurate name.
#2 Baby Wee Wee - A mechanical baby penis is never a good idea no matter how you try and justify its educational purposes.
#1 The Super Soaker "Oozinator" - Perhaps making the water look a little less human sperm might have been something for the advertising agency to consider.
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