Learning elf-defense is easy and you don't need to take classes for it either. All you have to do is carry a Chucky doll with you at all times and learn how to instantly transform your body into a mythical dragon through the use of Medievil meditation.If an assailant ever attacks you, simply turn into a dragon and command your Chucky doll to start chewing on the assailants face. He'll run away like a girl and give you two free Arby's coupons for your trouble. You could also start practicing voodoo but the whole "where to stick the pins in the doll" stuff is really complicated.