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Whatever happened to the old men who wandered the Earth playing the harmonica right after people did or said depressing things? Maybe that's why the world and today's prisons have gotten so nasty... not enough old men wandering around playing the harmonica. Especially the old guys who could play it with their nose. They're so awesome they could make people outside an STD clinic smile.


MORE MANLY STUFF....

The 10 Hottest Female "Tough Girls" In Sports (Bleacher Report)

25 Mascots Doing Very Bad Things (Holy Taco)

Now That Is The Hottest Snow Woman Ever (EHOWA)

The 25 Most Ironic Photos On The Internet (Super Tremendous)

The Battlestar Galactica Babes Are Back In Maxim (Liquid Generation)

The 20 Hottest WAGs Of The MLB League Champioships (COED Magazine)

A lot of people tend to believe in fate or karma, but I'm not one of them. Fate and karma are simply excuses for dumbass human behavior and decisons. Bad things also don't happen to people because mercury is in retrograde or because they were born under a bad sign. They happen because most people are morons. For example, just the other day I purchased a delicious bottle of chocolate Nesquick that was expired but I didn't realize that until after I took the first horrifying sip. This didn't happen because of bad karma, this happened because I was dumb enough to purchase a dairy item at 7-11. You see what I'm saying here?

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Wednesday is the day that we all start to get a little "Smurfy." The work week is nearing its bitter end and all we want to do is sit back, relax and Smurf out with our friends. If you're looking to get your Smurf on this hump day I recommend giving the Electric Smurf a try. It's a Smurftastic blend of coconut rum and Sprite with a hint of pineapple juice. It also makes the whole blue balls pickup line extremely appropriate.

There are several reasons that people faint including lack of food, low blood pressure, hypoglycemia, growth spurts, physical exercise in excess and lack of sleep. Most of those reasons sound a little far-fetched as far as I'm concerned which is why I have my own little theory about fainting. I believe most people faint after they see the "Mayonnaise Monster." The Mayonnaise Monster smells worse than anything you can possibly imagine and he repeatedly says "let me see your bologna sandwich" until you pass out.

Today's links that will make your butt explode include 25 bizarre Halloween costumes, the 10 hottest celebrity waitresses and a tour of planet Earth in less than three minnutes.



January Jones Is Definitely The Hottest Girl On Mad Men (Holy Taco)

25 Bizarre Halloween Costume Ideas (i Am Bored)

Ashley Greene's Hot New Photoshoot For Men's Health (Popoholic)

15 Tattoos Guaranteed To Ruin Your Life (Whip It Out Comedy)

The 10 Hottest Female Celebrities Who Were Once Waitresses (Maxim)

20 Photos That Will Make You Love Alyssa Milano Again (The Chive)

The Amazing Moonwalking Puppy (City Rag)

Candy Ace In Lingerie Will Add 5 Years To Your Life Expectancy (Gorillamask)

 


The Japanese Baywatch Intro Is Slightly Different (College Humor)

The 12 Gutsiest Sports Performances Of All Time (Bleacher Report)

The 10 Hottest Female Celebrities Who Eventually "Grow On You" (Becks.com)

The Most Horribly Painful Backflip You'll Ever See (Nothing Toxic)

You Would Sell Your Soul For This Man's Amazing Garage (Double Viking)

This Photo Pretty Much Sums Up The 1990's (Unreality Magazine)

Will Ferrell Answers Questions From Internet Fans (Babelgum)

The 12 Hottest Geek Girls On The Planet (Sublime Directory)

There's Two Big Reasons Susan Sarandon's Daughter Will Be Famous (Screen Junkies)





Tour Planet Earth In Less Than Three Minutes (Super Tremendous)

The Chicago Blackwawks Have The Hottest NHL Ice Girls (Busted Coverage)

A Flute Beat Boxer Is Coller Than You Think (EJB)

FHM's 100 Hottest Women Will Kill An Hour Of Time (FHM)

The 12 Greatest Celebrity "O-Faces" Caught On Camera (Hollywood Fail)

Mila Kunis Looks Awfully Purdy On The Red Carpet (Moe Jackson)

5 Ways You're Secretly Being Monitored (Linkiest)

Olivia Wilde In Sexy Goth Lingerie (Celeb Jihad)

The 6 Worst Homecoming Parade Royalty Rides (Angry T)

The 10 Best Booties In Beach Volleyball (Guyism)

Contrary to popular belief, most of the methane emissions from cows and other livestock aren’t from flatulence or farts, they’re actually from cow burps.  About 98 per cent of the methane from a cow is emitted through its mouth with the average grain-fed dairy cow belching out about 500 litres of methane each day. And suddenly I'm starting to think that a "Cows Gone Burping Wild" video series might not be such a bad idea after all. Don't worry, we'll give each of the cows a free t-shirt if they flash their udders.


MORE MANLY STUFF....

The 25 Funniest Sportscenter Commercials Of All Time (Bleacher Report)

The Best YouTube Videos You've Seen In Ages (FHM)

36 Marisa Miller Photos Will Lower Your Cholesterol (Ask Men)

The 15 Most Beautiful American City Skylines (Super Tremendous)

Watch Cheerleader Fall Down Go Boom (Busted Coverage)

Tori Praver Is So Hot It's Sickening (Gorillamask)

Blooper Scooper
The 10 Funniest Outtakes In Movie History

No matter how you dice it, watching actors screw up and laugh uncontrollably is extremely funny. In some instances the movie outtakes or "gag reel" (that's what she said) are actually funnier than the movie itself. This is why I think it's time for a Hollywood studio to grow a pair and release a movie that's only outtakes because I bet they'd be pleasantly surprised with the box-office results. This concept also applies to the people that make the movies where the people don't wear any clothing.

#10 Superbad - And to think we're only about ten years away from watching the tragic McLovin: E! True Hollywood Story that talks about his short-lived marriage with Courtney Love and severe addiction to McDonald's.