So about an hour ago I found a mini bag of croutons in an pair of shoes that I hadn't worn in a while and I'm still trying to figure out the signifigance of this moment. Does it mean that I'm might meet a hot French woman named Crouton this evening? It could be a sign that carbohydrates are the key to my future success or perhaps the mini croutons were trying to make contact with the fumunda cheese on pairs of dirty underwear in my closet? I doubt the universe will ever reveal it's true intentions for putting a bag of mini croutons in my shoe and I'm wondering if siamese twins pay for one ticket or two when they go to the movies.

Today's links that will make your butt explode include 30 redneck inventions gone wrong, the 7 worst Oscar speeches of all time and is hangover-free booze soon to be a reality?


A Hilarious Commercial About "Butt Drugs" (Holy Taco)

This Is What Happens When Busty Girls Sneezes (I Am Bored)

Olivia Wilde Drops Some Stunning Cleavage (Popoholic)

Top 10 Stoned Birthday Dogs (Heavy)


The Official 2010 Oscars Drinking Game (Comedy.com)

92 Hot Girls Dresses Like Alice In Wonderland (COED Magazine)

Arizona State Cheerleaders Are Really Hot (Extra Mustard)

Rabbit Vs. Hunter... Who Ya Got! (Gorillamask)

 



14 Epic Backflip Fails (College Humor)

10 Hollywood Hotties Who Fell Of The Face Of The Earth (Bro Bible)

The 7 Worst Oscar Speeches Of All Time (Super Tremendous)

10 Animals It Would Be Cool To Be (Becks.com)

This Cleavage Is Hypnotizing (Double Viking)

An Awesome Gallery Of Star Wars In The Real World Photos (Unreality Magazine)

21 Ice Sculptures You'll Wanna Lick (Maxim)

29 Oscar Speeches In 2 Minutes (Hollywood Fail)

Lindsay Lohan Shows Off Her Hooters Again (City Rag)




Hangover-Free Booze Soon To Be A Reality? (Linkiest)

Audrina Patridge Cleavage Rocks The April Issue Of FHM (FHM)

The 5 Books Every Man Must Read (Made Man)

The 15 Hottest Actresses We'll Never See Naked (Ranker)

David Caruso Investigates Murder At Sea World (Whip It Out Comedy)

5 Reasons You Should Be Scared Of Apple And Steve Jobs (Cracked)

Sofia Vergara's Hooters Are The Perfect Afternoon Snack (Moe Jackson)

8 Ways To Ruin A Bachelor Party (Guyism)

Rachel Reynolds Does A Bikini Good (Busted Coverage)

For the last three months I've been secretly trying to develop the world's first "meat plant" because I figured plants shouldn't be limited to growing fruits and vegtables. Well, I am happy to report that my baby filet mignon plant just grew it's first filet leaves and I'm about to cook them on my grill. Now I know you're probably really excited right now and wondering how to make your own meat plant. Well, all you have to do is plant two half-chewed pieces of meat in a box of dirt, add some butter and urinate in the box once a week until the first meat buds start to appear. Then scream insults at the plant for fifteen minutes a day until the meat leaves appear to be fully blossomed.

One of the worst parts about being an animal is that they have hardly any exposure to human female breasts. They never get to enjoy the coolest body part  in the history of mankind unless it's by accident and it must drive them crazy. On the other hand, they do get to blatantly stare at them whenever they want and girls think it's cute. Lucky bastards.

Recent Manofest Galleries...

- The 25 Most Unfortunate City & Town Names In The World

- The 30 Sexiest Celebrity Cheerleaders Of All Time

- The 50 Funniest Moments In Facebook History

- 25 Epic Business Name Fails

- 20 Great Moments In Wingman History

- 25 People With Serious Issues

Why is it that McDonald's refuses to sell hot dogs and what is Satan's last name? When a transvestite goes missing, why don't they put their photo on a carton of half and half? And why does the Hamburger Helper hand mascot only have four fingers?

Today's links that will make your butt explode include the girlfriend application, a goat breaks into a strip club and the 10 most disturbing movie characters of all time.



Introducing "The Girlfriend Application" (Holy Taco)

God Just Got Rick Roll'd! (I Am Bored)

Busty British Babe Kelly Brook Takes A Bath (Popoholic)

Bikini Detectives Know How To Solve Crimes (Heavy)


Neil Patrick Harris Set To Star In Smurfs Movie? (Comedy.com)

The Funniest And Dirtiest Figure Skating Photo Of All Time (Total Pro Sports)

Melrose Place Hottie Katie Cassidy Can Melt Ice (Extra Mustard)

Suelyn Tiger Is A Hot "Action Girl" (Gorillamask)

 



Kala Is Your Seriously Cute College Girl Of The Day (College Humor)

The 40 Greatest One-Hit Wonders Of All Time (Bro Bible)

The 100 Greatest TV Show Intros Of All Time (Super Tremendous)

Hot Girls Love Top Gun (Regretful Morning)

The Best Cleavage You'll See All Day (Double Viking)

The 10 Most Disturbing Movie Characters Of All Time (Unreality Magazine)

21 Awesome Life-Sized Legos (Maxim)

The 14 Best SNL Sketches From This Season (Hollywood Fail)

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Mullet (City Rag)




An Epic Collection Of Hot Bartender Babes (Linkiest)

Scarlett Johansson Is Up For Sale (FHM)

Salma Hayek's Hooters Are Real And They're Spectacular (Made Man)

Tiger Woods Spotted Outside Of Sex Rehab (Celeb Jihad)

7 Keys To A Successful One Night Stand (Whip It Out Comedy)

8 Epic Brain Farts That Threatened National Security (Cracked)

Tiger Woods' Newest Mistress Cori Rist Is Easily The Hottest (Moe Jackson)

Martha Stewart On A Stripper Pole! (Guyism)

The Hottest Women Of The Lingerie Football League (Busted Coverage)

There's nothing worse than that moment where you realize that you only have one pair of clean underwear left. Once you put it on, it's over... you have to do laundry again and that moment really does suck, doesn't it? It's not as bad as running out of toilet paper mid-poo and you have to walk like a penguin to the kitchen for some paper towel and waddle all the way back to the bathroom, but it's pretty bad. And while we're at it, I still can't understand how we live in a world where The Roots are the band for Late Night With Jimmy Fallon. And yes, the man in this video is Benjamin from Lost.

Cat Scratch Fever
The 10 Hottest Catfights In Movie History

The only thing better than watching two girls fight is wrestling with a hot brunette girl who's wearing glasses and covered in baby oil on king-sized bed made out of a real gigantic grilled cheese sandwich that you can both eat while you wrestle. I'd also argue that watching two hot girls in bikinis covered from head to toe in liquid nacho cheese who take turns slowly licking it off each other is hotter than a watching a catfight, but that scenario seems a little unrealistic if you ask me.
 

#10 Amanda Bynes Vs. Jamie-Lynn Sigler (Love Wrecked) - Sure it's not one of the greatest catfight scenes in terms of fighting, but it involves Amanda Bynes and Jamie-Lynn Sigler wrestling in bikinis, they're wet and there's a lot o "jiggling." That's a hot fight scene in my book.